When Love is Not Enough
by Mokora
Summary: A songfic to Maaya Sakamoto's beautiful and heartfelt song 'Danielle', in which Vash is returning home after his battle with Knives in episode 26


Disclaimer: Trigun is NOT mine. If you think I'm lying, email Yasuhiro Naito and ask him. He'll tell you.  
  
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**When Love is Not Enough  
**  
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_Feel your eyes of malice  
Like a bullet through my heart  
So unkind..._  
  
Vash looked on at his brother's almost lifeless body, remembering the satanic crazed look he'd acquired before falling at last. He then debated whether to take him. He loved his twin deeply, but he knew Knives would just kill the first people he saw as he awoke, which might just be Meryl and Millie. He shuddered at the thought. How horrid would that be? Returning to them, just to have them slain, and it would all be his fault. After burying that duisturbing thought, he decided not to dig it up again.  
  
_Words,  
Like gasoline,  
Burn a hole into heaven  
Then rain down on me_  
  
Knives' words repeated in Vash's mind mercilessly, leaving Vash questioning his purpose. He told himself countlessly that Knives was insane, and he shouldn't let what he says get to him... But it was just so hard. He sat beside his brother's body and thought. "If I take him, I'll half to be extremely careful. If I leave him, he might die... I can't have that..." He pondered this a little more and stood, having made his decision. He bent down and lifted his body up, carrying him over one shoulder and preparing for a long journey home.  
  
_Everything falls apart  
There was a time when our lives were so free  
Now, just another show  
Innocent days slipping far away_  
  
He couldn't remember the last time he'd tasted Meryl's excellent soup. He longed for the scent of a slow-cooking cake in an oven or a roasting turkey. He knew that with each day, Meryl and Millie were loosing hope. He had to go, and now he wanted nothing but to return to them... Or, to be correct, to her. He missed ehr shouting. Her screaming. Her throwing things at him. He smiled everytime he thought about her and the irony of missing the pain that came along with her throwing of shoes and books. He missed her most of all.  
  
_Tell me where to go  
Love is not enough  
When love is not enough_  
  
Despite the fact that he missed her, he doubted she missed him at all. She was probably enjoying that feeling of safety she lacked whenever he was around, bounty hunters close behind, no doubt. He smiled a little sadly now, thinking of that, but he quickly realized that with every step, he was closer and closer to home. The word sounded too good to be true. Home. Though, even through all of his thoughts, he couldn't shake the feeling that Knives had struck him with. "I'm not meant to kill." Vash reassured himself aloud, sobering a bit. "I'm nothing like Knives. Knives is completely different!" He said, but, after analyzing his words, he felt so alone. He realized that no one was like him. The one person that came close to being the same as him was a sadistic killer, which he definitely wasn't! He felt a wave of loneliness ruysh over him and he sighed. "I'll never be happy, will I?" He asked to the wind, or no one in particular. Closing his eyes, he continued onward.  
  
_Tell me  
Who can I run to?  
Love is not enough  
When love is not enough  
Nothing matters_  
  
Home didn't seem as great any more, the more he analyzed Knives' words. 'You idiot! You're letting him win! This is what he wants!' Vash scolded himself internally, yet those apprehensive thoughts weren't going away that easy. He was left, wondering, did Knives really love him? Truly? Was Knives jealous, or lost, or just lonely? Was he really insane, or extremely misguided? Vash's thought churned on, eventually giving him a headache, though he kept walking, the desert sun scorching his sweat-drenched body.   
  
_Feeling lost and no where  
Cold and shivering  
Like a black morning faded  
Darkness comes_  
  
Vash looked to the night sky. He'd been walking all day, and doubted he could take another step. "I'm so close..." He said to himself excitedly. "I'm going home." A lizard slithered by, crossing over his shoe, and Vash watched it, smiling. It looked at him a moment and then decided to skitter faster, just in case the thing it'd just seen was hungry. Vash watched it until it disappeared ath the melting point of the velvet sky and the dusty land. He thought to himself how lost he was. 'I just want to go back...' He thought to himself. 'Everything will be fine when I go back.' He reassured himself once again, though he knew that there were many problems left. Many, many problems.  
  
_How could things be so wrong?  
There was a time when my love set you free  
Not very long ago  
What I would give for one night, today  
_  
Then he saw Rem. He stopped walking, startled at the sudden image of her in his mind. 'What? Rem... Why...?' He asked, confused. Images of her continued to flash behind his eyelids. He thought of her and then, for an instant, Rem's silhouette was altered with the figured of the little woman he couldn't wait to see. "M-Meryl?" He said aloud, Knives' weight on his shoulder beginning to weaken him significantly. He quickened his pace. He knew that Rem was showing him that Meryl was waiting. Meryl couldn't wait either. He smiled in spite of himself and trudged onward. Nothing could stop him now.  
  
_Tell me where to go  
Love is not enough  
When love is not enough_  
  
The rain poured down brutally, soaking Vash's hair through, Knives' weight significantly increased when he was soaking wet. Vash almost though of tying a rope around his leg and dragging him, but then he realized that if Knives were to awaken, he'd be just a little irritated that he was being drug like a sack of potatoes. Vash gave a nervous laugh. Somehow, Knives' words were starting to wear off. Of course, once in a while, they'd haunt him, but he didn't believe them anymore. Not now, at least.  
  
_Tell me  
Who can I run to?  
Love is not enough  
_  
He already had it planned. When he got there, he'd sit Knives down and give Meryl the biggest hug he'd ever given anyone. Of course she'd probably hit him, but he'd kiss her too; just a peck on the cheek or head, to show how much he'd missed her. He'd hug Millie too and see how she was, and then they'd discuss the Knives dilemma. Where to put him, how to handle him, what to do when he awakened. He sighed, hating to burden the girls with this the moment he returns. He was such a bad luck charm.  
  
_Help me, please  
To see the truth  
Love is not enough  
When love is not enough_  
  
He thundered down no apparent path on the desert sand. The sun was high, casting ethereal glows on the little Western town in the distance. Meryl, he told himself, Meryl! He rushed, tripping once, but getting up and continuing, Knives weighing him down thoroughly. Closer and closer to everything, to home, to her. Faster he ran with every picture of their house and Meryl that popped into his mind. He reached the town and marveled at how it'd changed. There were new shops and more people, that was for sure. Then he saw her. Working at a restaurant, Meryl was busy cooking one of her famous soups. She was dressed in her normal off-white cloak and wardrobe, but with a violet apron over and grease smears on her face.  
  
_Tell me  
Who can I turn to?  
Love is not enough  
When love is not enough_  
  
Meryl rested, her head on one hand that balanced on an elbow, next to the pot of soup she'd been watching. Her face was smeared with grease and food, her neck and arms sweating from the heat. She rubbed her forehead and began to stir the soup again. Vash sat Knives down outside gently and entered, black sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose. "Um, miss!" He called. His hair looked nothing like the normal Vash's did, after all the rain and sweat that had penetrated his super-hold gel. Therefore, this would serve as a good disguise to surprise her. She turned and walked over to him. "Yes sir?" She asked, smiling. "Aw c'mon, you don't hafta be so formal..." He said. A look of confusion came over her face, until he pulled his shades down, revealing those same aquatic eyes she knew so well. Letting out a startled gasp, she leaped the counter and flew into his arms, not sure of what she doing, but she didn't care. "I didn't want to look like this when you came!" She whined, rubbing the grease on her face. "You look great to me!" He chimed, grinning.  
  
_What else matters?  
_  
Meryl grabbed his hand and ran out of the restaurant, throwing her apron on the counter. "Millie! Millie!" She shouted, Vash following behind, carrying Knives on his shoulder again. "He's back, Millie! He's back!" She shouted. Millie emerged from the old house and clapped her hands together. "Mr. Vash!" She called and ran toward him, enveloping him a bear hug like no other. She turned to look at Meryl, who was silently crying, though she smiled as the tears fell. "We didn't think you were coming..." She said wearily to Vash, blushing slightly. That was the perfect moment, he decided, and threw his arms around her, pressing his lips to hers. She was shocked, but she didn't pull away. She went four different shades of red and when it ended, she just gazed at him, wide-eyed and unbelieving. Millie cheered and danced around them. "I missed you, Meryl..." He said quietly as he embraced her. "I-I missed you too!" She squeaked, still letting everything sink in. Millie clasped her hands together at the enchanting sight of Meryl and Vash finally together. Vash draped his arm around Meryl and Meryl did the same with Millie, creating a link. The all decided to return to the house and sort out the Knives problem, but Meryl was still in a daze. Vash tightened his arm around her. Finally, somebody's love was enough to keep him going. 


End file.
